It's 3:55am , what are you doing right now.....

Alright, well I can't sleep. I can hear Kalen snoring and the washing machine. The reason I am awake is that my DEAR daughter came and got into bed with me. She has been doing this a lot lately. I can't figure it out why. I've been told "It's the age." So has anyone else had their kids come on a repeated basis try to get into their beds. Of course I have to be the one to take her back to bed because Kalen is oblivious that she is there. So now I'm awake. I've unloaded the dishwasher, started a load of laundry, checked email, wrote Kalen a note, and now decided to blog.

So as some of you know, I've been in a funk. I guess it's been a combination of things. One big part is that I totally don't feel like I fit in anywhere sometimes. I've been told fairly recently, "Well most people feel this way," I just think to myself, really...... I doubt it. Let's see, I can't go to the store when I need to, hence the Dylan's wheelchair. Ever thought how you push a shopping cart and wheelchair at the same time. I keep thinking I should invent some sort of contraption to help not only those that have to push wheelchairs but strollers also. Then my next complaint is that I'm learning who my "real" friends are. It's sad to say that I don't have many. The dynamics of many have changed. I've been trying to figure out why we don't have "couple" friends that we go to the movies with, go out to dinner, etc. We've tried and I can't figure it out. My only conclusion is that we are different. We don't have close friends that come and visit us from out of town, I don't have a gym buddy (My mom doesn't count), and then at church of all places... few people actually talk to us. So how do I feel..... like we are different. And why are we different because we have a "special needs" child. That's the only conclusion that I can come up with. I am definitely not complaining but talking with a friend yesterday had my brains turning that we don't go to the movies with anyone, out to eat, shopping, etc. Why is that???? I mean I think we are nice, "normal", social people. We just have a different family situation.
Don't get me wrong, I have my dear, dear friends that I can talk to whenever I need to. Normally our conversations are about IEPs, PT, OT, our frustrated we are, having "typical" kids, having a special needs child. So we have those conversations then I know that we have a special friendship:)
I'm not trying to say that if I don't talk to you about these things then you are not my friend, but it's different. Anyhow......... this is how I've been feeling incase anyone wanted to know. It's not intended to hurt anyone's feelings. I could go on about a few more things, but seeing that it's now 4:10am, I'm sure I will regret reading this later on today.