A review of cardstore.com

**This is a sponsored post**

I was contacted by a representative for the website, cardstore.com  a few weeks ago, offering me a chance to try the website out and do a review on my blog about the experience. I was given a free promotional code to make something from the website. Pretty cool, huh? If you know me, you know that I love trying things for free and was excited that I had been contacted.

I took a look at the website cardstore.com to see what I make. They have so many options. You can choose from birthday cards, birthday invitations, thank you cards, thinking of you cards, anniversary cards, get well cards, photo cards, stationary & so much more. The list of what you can choose from is HUGE. It's awesome.

I chose to make an anniversary card for our 11th anniversary coming up in August for Kalen. I chose the third card on the top row here. It was such an easy and quick process making the card. I think the hardest thing was deciding what pictures to use. When I uploaded a photo if it wasn't the best quality it told me that it might not look too good when printed. I really liked that feature. I would have hated to get my card and have the photos be blurry.

Another thing that I liked about using cardstore.com was that I got an email right away telling me my order was received. Then I got one a few days later once my card was made telling me it was shipped and was provided with a tracking number.

I was so pleased when I opened the envelope to see the finished project. It turned out great. Kalen likes to save the cards I've given him over the years so now he has a very personalized one. I will definitely be using cardstore.com again.

It was such an easy way to make a personalized card and saved me a trip to the store! I highly recommend checking the website out the next time you need a card for any occasion.

10 years ago

Just like last night, but 10 years ago I couldn't sleep. I was nervous for the c-section I knew I would be having. I woke up extra early to shower, do my hair and getting ready for what I thought it would be like having a baby. Life was so different then.
I can remember the drive over to Kaiser, literally waddling into Labor & Delivery to be checked in for surgery. I look back at those pictures and think how naive I look. I think having a baby is one of those things in life that no matter how much a book, friends or family tell you how to prepare, you just have to do it. I had NO idea what would be happening in a few hours and how drastically my life would change. I thought I would have a baby, be in the hospital for 2 days since I was having a c-section and then we'd go home and live the life I thought I would have having a baby boy. It didn't quite turn out the way I thought.
The anesthesiologist was WAY behind schedule and since I wasn't considered an "emergency c-section", my surgery got pushed way back. Have you ever been so excited that you feel like you are/were going to puke? I couldn't contain the happiness I felt. Sitting there, knowing that in just a few minutes you will be seeing and hearing your baby. For me holding Dylan would have to wait until I got out of the OR.
Finally it was time. I can remember seeing the walls of the hospital and the anxious feeling that was in the bottom of my stomach. This was it.... I was going to become a mom. I would have a son. Kalen & I would be first time parents. They got me all hooked up and then asked me to sit up and bend as far over as I could so they could do my spinal. For those that know me, you will know that I literally blew up at the end of my pregnancy. My measurements were off the chart. The doctors expected Dylan to be at least 15 lbs. He wasn't that big, but was 10 lbs 6 ozs and 22 inches long. He was a BIG boy. I remember them saying, "Go get the dad" and then I was told I'd be meeting my baby in just a few moments. Kalen walked in. What a sight I must have been! Not probably what felt like 2 minutes later, Dylan was out of me and crying. I remember the comments from the staff on how big he was. Kalen was instantly at Dylan's side, watching as they measured him and did his apgar scores. Everything seemed good. Nothing out of the ordinary except for a HUGE baby. Kalen went with Dylan to wherever they take babies to clean them up and stay with him, while they finished my surgery.
There was no going back. We were parents. I was taken to the recovery room and FINALLY got to hold my baby. I remember the wave of emotions rush over me. Instant love. A love I had never felt before. As I looked down at him, I remember thinking over and over again, "this is my baby, I have a son". He's mine. I felt so grateful he was here. As I lay in my bed and he was passed around to be held by Kalen, and my parents I felt as if I was watching something wonderful unfold. Not only were Kalen & I first time parents, but our parents were now grandparents. Everyone was so proud and happy.
I was miserable from the heat in my room as well as the meds that were trying to work their way out of my system. Kalen still makes fun of how much I was complaining about how hot it was in my room. I was MISERABLE, but Dylan was here so it made it better.




Because of Dylan being so big, he had to have his glucose checked every so often to make sure his numbers were okay. So when the nurse came into to say that he would be getting that checked and would be right back I thought nothing of it. It happened multiple times during the day so I was used to it. Visiting hours were over and Kalen headed home. I had noticed though during Dylan's last feeding session that his breathing was kinda rapid. I told the nurse about it and she said they'd take a look at it the next time his glucose was checked. Next thing I know, in the middle of the night, a doctor came into my room and said that they wanted to keep Dylan in the NICU for observation because there might be something more to the rapid breathing. I was kinda dazed and thought nothing of it really.
The next morning Dylan hadn't been brought back into my room so as soon as Kalen got to the hospital we went to find our son. We were told he was in the NICU and that we had to wash our hands, using a special brush and soap. We scrubbed up and went into the NICU. When I think of a NICU, I think of preemie babies, not those weighing in over 10 pounds. What a sight Dylan was! He was on oxygen and had an IV sticking out of his head.












We weren't given any warning and for a parent, first time or not, that was scary. It hadn't even been 24 hours yet and the instinct to protect Dylan was strong and I wanted answers, except I didn't know what questions to ask. Remember I thought we'd be going home 2 days later. Well looking at Dylan in his hospital bed all hooked up to machines, I knew we wouldn't be going home the next day. The nurses were great. The doctors were great. The neurologist not so much. I still to this day cringe when I hear the man's name. He was Dylan's neurologist for a few years and we finally switched because I couldn't take his nonsense anymore. Sorry to those of you that go to Sutter Peds neurology because he know works there. That's a whole other story.
Well we spent most of Saturday in the NICU holding Dylan, talking with the nurses & doctors, and our family members that came to visit them. We all had to take turns in the NICU because they only allowed 2-3 people at his bed. Sunday morning I was told I would be discharged but Dylan would be staying until they knew what was going on with him. I remember the panic I felt. How can I leave my baby at the hospital and I go home? That wasn't what was suppose to happen. I wasn't prepared for that. No one told me that might happen. Kaiser luckily had a rule that if a baby was in the NICU, the mom could stay for "free" if there was an empty bed available. I was only able to stay until Monday afternoon. The staff kept telling me, I'd feel better sleeping in my own bed and being able to take a shower and that I'd get more rest at home and I could come anytime day or night to see Dylan. We were also given a direct number to the NICU so we could call and see what the latest status was. Having to leave was the WORST feeling at that time I had ever felt. I remember walking into the house without Dylan. Seeing the bouncy seat, his room and finally the bassinet that was right night to my bed. It would stay empty for the next week. It SUCKED!!!
From Tuesday to Friday of the next week, we basically lived in the hospital. It was awful. I remember seeing other babies in the NICU that had been there for months. I kept thinking to myself how the heck does a baby stay in the hospital for months. Babies were suppose to go home after they are born. See I was naive, as I think most people are. But for the majority of people, having a baby means going home shortly after the baby is born. Not having to see their baby hooked up to oxygen and other machines. I felt so helpless and my life was out of my control. (Just think, almost 7 years later, I would be feeling, helpless and my life was out of control). Hmm...life is interesting isn't it? The plan Kalen and I had for our family, was quickly changing. To what we didn't know, but we would make it work somehow. We did!
After a week in the NICU we got to go home and be a family.




I couldn't have been Dylan's mom, without the help, love and support from Kalen. Kalen is such a great dad. Seeing him with Dylan especially during those first few days, just made me know that I was so glad we had got married. We had only been married a little over 11 months when Dylan was born.
As I sit typing, it's hard to see the screen. My tears seem to be non-stop. I'm an emotional mess today. My thoughts are jumbled in my head and all over the place. Hopefully something in this post makes sense.
My wish for today is that you can smile despite the pain, sadness or whatever else cruddy feeling that can come with life. It can be so hard. Find something good about today and cherish it. I'm cherishing Dylan's birth today. He has forever changed my life. I miss his laugh, smile and personality. I miss the way he would snuggle into me when I held him, even at almost 7 years old. I miss the feel of his hair. I miss his fingers and toes. I miss his calloused hands. I miss seeing him get so excited when Kalen got home from work. While I miss those few things I listed (I could go on and on), I am grateful for the memories I do have. I'm grateful I knew Dylan. I'm grateful I'm his mom and he is a member of our family.
As Dory from Finding Nemo would say, "Just keep swimming". I'm treading against the current today, so be patient with me, if you see me today.
We are releasing balloons at the cemetery later today with our love notes to Dylan. I hope he sees them.

Unexpected

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from a dear friend about a blog she found that she thought I could relate to and the story reminded her of me. I clicked on the link was instantly fixed on what I was reading. My eyes began to tear up and the anguish I have personally felt came rushing to "the surface". Whenever I hear of a family who has had a child die, it breaks my heart. I know all to well what some of the emotions they might be felling....helplessness, emotional and mental fatigue, guilt, anger, denial, the exhaustion that comes from trying to find peace. Well I felt so similar to the story I was reading. I just wanted to share with you all this mom's story. She was interviewed here. (click the word "here") You can find her personal blog here.(click the word "here") I found that the very last part of the interview was powerful and touched me. I too believe that God performs miracles and they probably won't always be how we want them, but nonetheless he does. There is no way I could have survived the past 3 years without the knowledge I have a loving Heavenly Father.

 It an emotional time for me as we approach what would have been Dylan's 10th birthday next week. I can't believe he'd be 10 years old. I can only imagine how big he would be. I bet he still would have his great laugh and smile. I'm grateful for the knowledge that I have a Heavenly Father that loves me, despite my flaws and still wants the best for me. That He is willing to help me with my grief. I am grateful that I have a Savior that died for me, so I can overcome death and be reunited with Dylan again someday. I am grateful for my family near and far. I am beyond grateful to those friends who I can call, text or chat with when I'm having a bad day and missing Dylan and letting me cry, vent, or complain about how life is unfair without making me feeling judged. I am grateful for those that still let me talk about Dylan, the good times or the bad. Oh how I miss my sweet boy.

I can't believe that almost 10 years ago I was about to meet him, all 10 lbs 6ozs of him. I remember holding him for the first time. Savoring everything about that moment. How he smelled, looked and the sounds he made. I had become a mom. I had no idea the road that was ahead of me. There were many plains, hills and mountains I would have to climb. It's kinda ironic that I'm still having to climbed the hills and mountains even since he has died and they still involve him. Fast forward 10 years and I'm pregnant with our last kid. It's weird to think that our family is "complete" while still being incomplete. I wonder what she will be like. How she will look. What her personality will be. Because of Dylan and the challenges we faced raising him, I have learned to take NOTHING for granted. Life can change in an instance. We've all heard that before. I have been living this for the past 3 years and almost 2 months. Dylan was physically here one day and gone the next without warning. Yes there are times, that I might take things for granted, but it's almost like I'm reminded in some way or another that I need to appreciate those things a little more. I mean, I'M ONLY HUMAN! For example, Isabella getting into my bathroom, climbing on the toilet then to the counter to then put lotion on all over her arms and legs. While it drives me bonkers, I am grateful that she has those gross motor skills to climb and the mind to do so. I'm grateful for the helper that Brianna is. She will play with her sister just because I ask, although she might want to do something else. Brianna has compassion for others that I haven't seen in any other kid.

 I know in November that's when people really ponder what they are thankful/grateful for, but I ask you today in July, "What are you grateful/thankful for?" Leave a comment here or on Facebook. I know I've been missing from blogging, but I have been EXHAUSTED from growing this baby:) I promise to be better.

Summer

I can't believe that July is halfway over. It's crazy that Brianna just got out of school a little over a month ago. Brianna finished 2nd grade with a great report card. I'm so grateful that she works hard and doesn't give up with her school work. She LOVES to read.

It started getting hot and the plum tree in the backyard started ripening. We had so many plums. Brianna's first chore of the summer was to pick up a trash bag full. I am grateful to those that came and helped pick up rotten plums, pick the tree and take plums to their homes. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with so many plums.

I had bought a Groupon awhile back that was for one of the local skating rinks. Brianna has enjoyed getting better at rollerskating. She can actually skate. It's been fun watching her.

For my birthday, I went to Six Flags with my sister in law and her kids. We all had a blast despite the heat. Isabella wasn't too sure of the characters. She wanted nothing to do with them up close. Far away she thought they were great. We can't wait to go back. They have some pretty amazing shows.

Here's a few pictures from our day. Isabella LOVED drinking from the "BIG" cup. Good thing I had them refill it with water sometimes during the day. Hanging out with her cousin while the big kids rode a "roller coaster".


A friend of ours invite the girls and I to join them at Art Beast. It's a pretty neat place for the kids. I LOVE that they can paint and I don't have to worry about it getting on my floor or walls. Isabella LOVED painting at the easel. It was hard to get her to stop. Luckily there were tons of others things for her to do.

Brianna enjoyed painting as well. I love the idea of painting on a dry erase board. Such easy clean up. Why haven't I thought of that??

We had a great 4th of July. It was super low key and mellow, but we had a blast. We swam, had a BBQ and did fireworks. We had some friends over and it was the perfect day. Isabella enjoyed the "quiet" fireworks but if they made any loud sounds she was terrified. Brianna loved all the fireworks.



We've been swimming on the really hot days and because of that the girls' hair is turning blonder. Here's a pic of some crazy hair after her nap. Look how blonde it is!

We've been attending story time at one of the local libraries. It's been nice having Brianna there with us because Isabella will actually sit on the carpet square. Brianna is a great big sister.
Incase you missed the last post, we are expecting our final baby this November. We just found out this past Monday that we will be having a girl.

We are all really excited. Poor Kalen is really out numbered now. It's a good thing he is so mellow and great with his "girls". I'm glad he can tolerate the color pink too! We can't wait to meet her. Now we have to decide on a name. That's always hard for me to do.