Struggling

I don't even know where to begin. I BEYOND overwhelmed & frustrated. Being a mom is so UNBELIEVABLY hard. This day did NOT start off right. Now matter how hard I tried. Isabella now knows how to climb out of her crib. I have been dreading nap time. I will get to that in a bit.

I had asked a friend to go to story time at the library. It's A LOT of work to take Isabella anywhere. She is psychically and emotionally draining. As soon as we walk out of the garage she bolts. Yes, I am one of those moms you seeing running after their child. No matter what I do, she doesn't stop. I've tried positive reinforcement, yelling, time out, the works. NOTHING is helping. I am at my wits end.

Well we went to the library. She did okay, but still went the opposite way of the exit when it was time to go. Again I was chasing after her. We got home and I gave her lunch. Of course everything was thrown on the floor. I am SO sick & tired of having to clean food up off of the floor. I seriously have never met a kid that can be so testy.

I called Kalen in tears asking if he could pick Brianna up from school, because Isabella was acting tired and after what happened with her nap yesterday, I didn't want a repeat. Well I put her in her bed since she was rubbing her eyes and yawning. That was over an hour and a half ago. I am so MAD. Tears are streaming down my face. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT????? Less than a minute of being in her crib she was already attempting to get out. So I went in and moved the mattress to the floor. I've had to make multiple trips in to remove toys so she will stop playing. She is still awake. It makes me mad, because I could have gone and gotten Brianna from school, but I'm sure she would have been falling asleep as soon as we started driving down the road.

I don't know what else to do. I feel like a failure as a mom. Isabella has been a constant struggle since she was born. Maybe it's the timing of when she came to our family. Maybe it's her personality. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's a mixture.

I'm so tired of everyone telling me she'll grow out of it. I highly doubt that will happen. It feels like it's getting progressively worse. Why couldn't I have "easy" child??? I have tried so many times to remain calm. I don't know what else to do.

As I look at the monitor I can see her playing now in the drapes. I GIVE UP!!! Don't let anyone fool you into thinking being a parent is EASY. It's not!

I know this is WAY more of a downer post than usual, but it's a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, bad day.

Anyone deal with a situation like this? If so, did anything work? I'm desperate..............