One Year

This weekend has been rough. It felt as if I was reliving each dreaded moment. I reread old texts that people sent or that I sent those two days. It felt so fresh and recent. It's hard to believe it's been a year.

So much has changed. I can't believe we have a new addition to our family. We should be a family of 5 but there are only 4 of us here. I know I've said it before but I wish Isabella would know her brother not just as a person from our memories or pictures.
My heart has been so heavy. My eyes hurt from the immense amount of tears that have flowed freely the past two days. Today we gathered with friends and some family to honor Dylan at the cemetery. We had cake and blew bubbles. It was simple but so special. I want to thank those that took time out of their day to come and support us. We know that there were many who blew bubbles today in honor of Dylan. Thank you! I look forward to getting those pictures to put in Dylan's angel scrapbook.

I miss Dylan. The pain is intense. I wish he was here to wrap my arms around to hug him. To see his toothless grin would make my day. I long for the day that we will see each other again. Like my sister in law said on her facebook status "we are one year closer to seeing him."

My mind is so scatterbrained right now. I have so much I want to type but the words are not coming smoothly.

I wish I had something more profound to say on this milestone, but its painful and hard. I miss my boy and the happiness and normalcy of life. I've somehow survived this past year. While it's been a blur and seems like a crazy dream, I'm still standing and breathing. While there are many many many bumps on my path, I know with the help from my Heavenly Father, support and love from friends and family, and my sweet boy cheering me on I'll be able to keep standing.

Miss you Dylan!!! I just wish I could give you the biggest hug, kiss and raspberry on your cheek. Keep laughing;)


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