An overwhelming wave

This morning after dropping Brianna off at school, Isabella and I headed over to the gym so I could workout and have some "me" time.

Isabella LOVES the kids club which is a HUGE relief. Trying to go early in the morning or after Kalen got home just wasn't working so I wasn't working out much. I feel so much better about myself too!! And some days I even have more energy. Yay!!

So this morning in the way to the gym, I saw a fire truck and an ambulance parked in front of a house. I knew that since there weren't a TON of police cars, that it most likely wasn't a child that was being treated for being unresponsive. I was still so overcome with grief. Tears streamed down my face. Images of that dreadful day flashes before my mind. I said a quick prayer for whoever was being treated that all will be well and continued driving on. It made me wonder if my neighbors wondered what was going on that dreadful day back in May 2010.

I know it might seem silly to some, but seeing an ambulance and fire truck in front of someone's house has always brought me a horrible feeling ever since the last time Dylan had to ride in one. I know they are there to help someone but it doesn't matter. It causes me stress, anxiety and heartache.

So I'm not sure what the point was of this post, but I ask that if you see a fire truck or ambulance coming pull over and get the heck out of the way, so whoever they are treating or transporting can have a chance to survive.

Since I wasn't allowed to ride in the ambulance with Dylan I have no idea how the drivers were that morning they took him to the hospital.

Grief is my enemy and friend. I HATE it, but its also am use to it. I'm just barely able to remember happy times with Dylan and not completely breakdown. I MISS him SO much. It's going to be 2 1/2 years soon and our life is so different. People who were such a support have now disappeared and trying to make sense of that is hard. I am SO grateful for my three closest friends. SJ, HK, and AT, I wouldn't have made it these past years without you!!! Especially this past year. Thank YOU!!

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