Sunday, February 13, 2011

A rushing wave

I woke up early this morning with my heart pounding and tears streaming down my face. I relived my worst nightmare but this time it was Brianna who died. The intense emotions I felt the day Dylan was rushed to the hospital and the moment he was pronounced "brain dead" came rushing back. I ran into Brianna's room to make sure she was there and breathing. To my relief she was there and sleeping well.

Grief affects me in so many ways. Whether I'm awake or sleeping, it's there. It's always there. It's hard trying to live when there is a constant weight on my heart and mind. It makes life extremely difficult.

I miss Dylan so much. My life seems so surreal. I feel like I'm watching myself live from a distant. It's so strange to describe.

Hopefully tonight's dreams will be different.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2 comments:

  1. Wishing you dreams of peace and happiness. Sorry you had a rough night. I remember in the early months of my daughters death having those same experiences. Now being 2 1/2 years out the scary dreams are far and few between. It does get better.:)

    Jen ( Angel Kamber's Mom)
    angels among us

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sweet Dreams filled with happy memories. Good Night my friend.
    Hugs, carrie

    ReplyDelete

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