10 months

I couldn't sleep last night. Maybe it is because I'm 37 weeks pregnant. think it had more to do with the fact that my heart and mind knew what today was. Oh how I miss Dylan. It's just not the same without him here. Our family isn't the same. My heart is aching so badly today. I just wish I could see him and hold him. I was looking at one of his pictures on the fridge this morning and couldn't stop looking at his hands and fingers. Why those stuck out to me today, I don't know. I miss his hands. I miss holding his precious hands in mine. I made a mistake, watching Army Wives on my DVR this morning. I knew someone was going to die. I just didn't think it would be the son of one of the main characters. I know it was just a TV show, but the feelings I felt the day Dylan died, the planning of the funeral, and burying him came rushing back. I'm not in a good place today. My heart is aching and the tears flow freely. I just wish with every fiber of my being that Dylan were here. I'm still in shock that it's been 10 months since that dreaded day, when I woke up to my world crashing down.