Bjurstrom Family Happenings: Down

Monday, July 18, 2011

Down

That's how I've been feeling lately. Everything in my life seems to be unraveling. It's so frustrating.

For the most part we are well. I'm tired but what else is new. I guess I thought I had Isabella figured out and for the past 3 days she's been difficult.

On a good note, she is sleeping longer at night, which I am so grateful for. She loves to smile at everyone. I think Brianna can get the biggest smile out of her. She is also in the starting stages of laughing. It's more of a squawk than anything else.

Kalen has been working lots of long hours which makes for really long days. I feel like I never see him. I appreciate that he goes to work everyday.

Brianna just last week lost another tooth. She looks so cute. She has 4 more loose teeth in varying stages of "looseness". Is that really a word?

I'm busy with the girls. I've also been busy with exercising. It seems to have been consuming my life. I'm not as pleased as I would like but I've lost almost 15 pounds in 6 weeks. Not too shabby. My body does feel like it's falling apart. I hope it keeps going because I have a ton more weight that I need to lose.

Next Monday is Dylan's birthday. Since Kalen has to work we will be heading to the cemetery on Sunday for cupcakes and a balloon release with messages on them to Dylan.

I know part of the reason I'm struggling right now is that its getting closer to Dylan's birthday. I can't believe he would have been 8. I wonder what he would be doing now if he were still alive. Would he have mastered sitting independently for a few more seconds? He worked so hard during physical therapy. Would he still have his baby face? Would he still love music and vibration? Would he still like me to rock him? I hope he would. I really miss those quiet moments when it was just me and him in the middle of the night. Yes I was tired and many times exhausted but I am so grateful I had those times with him. I just wish I would have appreciated those times more when he was alive.