Not so small after 1 year

I'm sitting here in Sophia's room, rocking her to sleep. To think a year ago we were in the hospital and it was painful to hold her due to just having a c section. Now she is "big", but yet still so small. 

I have loved being a mom to all of my kids. Each one teaches me different things on a daily basis. Each one has enriched my life in ways I never thought possible. 

For me, time has been an enemy since Dylan died. It either goes by too fast or extremely slow. As I sit here rocking Sophia, listening to her breathing slow, I can't believe it's been a year since she was born. Where has the time gone?? 

I tried hard to savor every minute (even the ones that seemed never ending due to lack of sleep) because I knew she would be the last baby for Kalen and I. 

There is something that pulls on my heartstrings when I think about it. 

I've watched Sophia closely this past year, to see how she has learned to roll, sit, crawl, walk, give kisses, say hi, and constantly babble "mama". It's so fascinating to me how babies learn (that's probably why I have a degree in Child Development). 

I am grateful for the opportunity I've been given to be a mom. To be a buddy to one. To be comforter to another. To be my kids' "mama". 

While I could be cleaning the house, washing the dishes or doing something else, I'm going to choose to rock my baby a little longer because I know firsthand what it's like not to be able to do so. 

I'm feeling sentimental tonight. Many thoughts are racing through my head as I reflect on this past year. There have been good and bad times, calm and hectic times, but overall this year has been a blessing. With that being said, Happy birthday my sweet Sophia. You are truly a blessing!